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Lingerie models on display at the "Beautycon" convention in New York City in 2014. (Charles Sykes/AP) We all know what it’s like to want something so badly that you feel sick with anticipation. No, not your stomach — I mean that longing, irresistible urge to see something specific or hear somebody talk about some kind of topic. This is the feeling that makes you press refresh over and over again on your phone while you're waiting for an email reply, or makes your face light up when somebody mentions their new favorite song on social media. It’s that powerful, and can be such a strong part of our lives that it's hard not to feel intoxicated when we get that right message at exactly the right moment. This feeling is what my book, “Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps," is about. Not that it's easy, obviously, but that it's a really fun way to learn how to be an adult. Fiction is full of tales about people who are desperate to find something they need or want desperately, and my book plays with this impulse in a few ways. I wanted the book to be read in the same spirit as "Catch-22," "Slaughterhouse Five," or "(An) American Idyll" - books that are what my colleague Adam Langer calls “meditations on longing. ” As a reviewer for "Slate" once wrote, we "need books as much as young people need coffee to stay alert and functioning as adults. But sometimes we don't know what we're waiting for. Sometimes we just know that there's some thing that we want so bad that it feels like torture to hold it in our hands, or read about it or think about it. I was a writer of erotica when I started this project, and one of the things I loved about the personal essay is how it shows us exactly what happens when people can't sleep but they can't stop thinking about sleep. And sometimes we keep looking for what we want and it never appears. I've been obsessed with the idea of not-quite-getting-what-you-want ever since I moved to New York, where people talk about "the grass is always greener," but also "if you love something, set it free." And I've been obsessed with lingerie for just as long. I once had a date tell me that “if a cleavage is discovered beneath a man’s shirt collar, she needs to see it immediately .” I have friends who'll drop everything to go bra shopping. cfa1e77820
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